Keep Your Composure

I first have to vent my own personal frustration. I just spent 20 minutes typing up this post, only to go and accidentally delete all of my text. So this is attempt #2.

Yesterday, Hyrum woke up sick. It was obvious he was not going to church, but we had to decide who was staying home with him. Rheanna wasn't feeling at the top of her game and had a ward conference to attend later in the day, so she was thinking maybe she would stay home. I asked what the hymns were that she was planning to play and immediately sat down to attempt them. I couldn't do them perfectly, but good enough to not completely embarrass myself.

I went to my morning meetings and then rushed home to pick Payton up. The Emersons willing let her sit with them the whole time, which was a treat for her and she was great. Thanks guys! The meeting began and I played the first 2 hymns half decently, but it seemed that either I was playing way too fast due to nerves or that the congregation was just slow. Not sure why we were not together, but I made it thru nevertheless. Before going to sit down, I turned to the next hymn and set the register for the intermediate hymn. It was great to be able to sit and listen to the talks without having to help my kids behave.

Before I share my next event I want to preface it with some embarrassing moments. This year alone, I've had times where I'm taking a kid out and they get away from me and go screaming back to their seat while I'm already at the door so I have to chase them down and disrupt the whole meeting (this is actually usually me taking all 3 out while Rheanna is playing the organ), Hyrum has thrown wadded up paper at the high councilor speaking (sorry Greg, you really weren't doing a bad job), Payton has laid on the aisle floor with her dress over her head (showing the world her undies) and Alec's favorite thing is to find a new spot on my suit to target with spit up. Needless to say, I had some good times, but with all of that I've learned to avoid the embarrassment and to just deal with it. So back to yesterday. I hurried up to the organ when it was time for the intermediate hymn and sat down a little out of breath and started to play. Then it clicked in my head, I was not hearing the intro to Come, All Ye Saints of Zion, but rather O Saints of Zion. I soon realized that with my complete lack of arranging ability there was no easy way to just glide into the correct hymn, so I had to stop completely and start over, this time just looking at Hymn 38 and not even glancing at what was on the opposite page. I'm sure the congregation didn't realize what I had done, but probably just thought I couldn't play 38 correctly. This is where I had to decide to either let the panic continue or just get over it and play. I actually managed to push off the nerves and made it thru without any major blemish. So in the end, I was proud of myself for not completely fumbling as I've done before in similar situations and also am so grateful for a ward that I love and feel comfortable in that I can just get over my embarrassment in the moment : )