Fear Factors

Many of you know about Rheanna's Radioactive Iodine Ablation that is happening tomorrow. About a year ago she was diagnosed with Grave's Disease, and after many options that have not worked well, we are at this point. It's been a hard decision with much prayer and fasting. I've been up and down with whether she should pursue it or not. Rheanna has been calm and collected about the whole thing until recently, now her nerves are setting in. I must say that this is becoming on of my biggest struggles in life, not concerning faith, but just emotionally. I don't know how to react to it. We aren't expecting side effects, but part of me thinks there must be something. I think today we were both at the point of losing it. I tried faking it for people, but some saw right through that, I'm sure Rheanna made the same attempt. I'm not sure what is so scary about it, if it's the fact that she'll be radioactive or if it's that her thyroid is going to be made dysfunctional and it's not something that can be reversed, a permanent change and we just hope it's for the good. I think it will be, but we just have to get through this transition phase. It has been a long year in dealing with this and also with Alec's pregnancy. Fortunately we've had some great friends and family that have helped get us through it all. I originally took the 3 days off from work, that Rheanna will be gone, to stay with the kids as I didn't want to burden anyone by taking our kids since they've all watched them so many times, but now I think that I need the 3 days off work for me to rest emotionally. The same with meals, at first I thought, well gee, I'll be home, I can cook, people don't need to bring me dinner. Now I've changed my attitude and will allow myself the down time to de-stress and enjoy feeling the love from people as they serve our family. Thank you all so much for your help during this trial. We love you all and are so grateful to be associated with such fantastic people that are so willing to come to our aide even with all that is going on in your lives. My testimony of the Atonement has increased as I've watched it help our family through pain, suffering and discomfort. I used to just focus on the Savior's help for repentance, but I know He does so much more than that, as He has suffered for this very trial. I am so thankful for the knowledge that I have of the Gospel that helps make each day that much easier. Ok, now that I've vented my feelings I feel much better about all of this. (Sorry, I'm not carpooling until Thursday so I didn't have Aaron to dump this all on : )